Before You Know It

You ever notice how this life is always changing? How it doesn’t seem to slow down?

Like a flowing river, life is fluid in movement…smooth in parts and rough in others, but it’s always moving.

As a parent, this sentiment is definitely true. The generations before us have preached that life is short and that kids grow up fast. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” we say, wondering how the early years of poopy diapers and late nights could possibly go by quickly…until the little monsters start walking and talking. Yet still, we tend to look years ahead, attempting to be present, while wishing for “better” days ahead. Days where our kids are more independent and the daily pressures of care-taking are less and less.

Before you know it, our kids are in school, climbing the ladder of the elementary years. Growing, developing, learning and becoming the beautiful little people that God created them to be. We strive to see them break out of their shells, show leadership and be involved with friends and activities. Those years are filled with great memories, fulfilled hearts and full calendars.

Before you know it, elementary school is a distant memory and the awkward years of middle school arrive. Releasing our little ones into the big, bad world of kind-of-scary-onion-pit-smelling-voice-cracking-puberty-stricken-pre-teens is intimidating and we yearn for our kids to fit in. They don’t seem to need mommy and daddy as much, but they still love us…in their own independent, goofy kind of way. We slowly learn to give them space, but boy does it hurt sometimes to loosen that grip. It’s okay though, that’s part of life and we know that.

Before you know it, middle school is in the rear view mirror and somehow, our kids survived outdoor school, having their own lockers and learning the art of wearing deodorant. High school is now here, along with an insane amount of hormones and attitude. The doors to our “baby’s” rooms always seem to be closed and the canned answer when asked how school’s going is a simple “fine.” Us parents suddenly feel out of the loop, grasping to understand the lingo, the culture and the challenges that our kids are facing daily. We’re left to wonder where the early years went. We begin to lament a bit, asking ourselves if we did enough for them when they were young…hoping that whatever morsels of truth and character imparted to them would provide the tools needed to survive the battle otherwise known as high school.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point and I’m grateful for the reminder myself. Life is a bullet train, traveling at lightening speed towards the inevitable future and we’re all hanging on the best that we can.

With the school year ending and Father’s Day approaching, I’m left the realization that my boys have grown up fast…like really fast. Will is finishing up 5th grade and Ben conquered his freshman year of high school. WE WILL NO LONGER HAVE A KID IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL…EVER AGAIN! Wow. For some reason, this hits me hard.

It’s weird being a parent sometimes and the emotions that we face regarding our kids. To hold joy in one hand and sorrow in the other is the beautiful mishmash we like to call love. I selfishly want my boys to stay young forever, but I know that’s not a reality, nor should it be. They’re good kids and because of this, my sadness quickly turns to joy. The world needs them and the world needs yours too.

I’ve heard it said that the days are long and the years are short. This couldn’t be more accurate.

So, let’s love them well, through the good days and the bad days…through the joy and the sorrow…through the younger years and the later years…through all of it, while we still have the chance, because before you know it… (insert rapidly approaching future here).

God Bless,

Paul

My Not-So-Little Boy

I’ll admit it, I’ve been feeling a bit sentimental and a tad emotional lately….not a lot emotional, just a tad emotional…we’ll just call it macho-emotional ;).

Ben, my oldest son, is finishing up his last year of elementary school and entering the big, bad world of middle school.

For some reason, I’m kinda struggling with this next chapter.  His feet are now the size of cars, he’s growing like a weed and now has to wear deodorant to fend off the flies.  Things are changing and my little boy is becoming a young man.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful that he’s a smart, independent and kind kiddo.  He opens doors for ladies, says his “please’s” and “thank you’s” and is on his way to success, I’m sure of it.

BUT, I still want to keep a tight grasp on that not-so-little guy…I selfishly want to sprinkle him with magical dust that keeps him young forever…

Ok fine, since the whole fairy dust thing “isn’t possible,” I guess I’ll just settle for slowing down and trying to appreciate every moment with him.

To take my own advice, the other night, I asked Ben if he wanted to go have some dude time.  He seemed pretty cool with this plan.

Dude time isn’t ever fancy, it’s just us being dad and son, hanging out together, talking about whatever.  In this instance, we hung out in the “Bro Lounge” (an extra hang out room in our house), turned some music on and plopped down on the couch.  We talked about girls, friends, school and made up silly, gross names for no apparent reason…you know, dude stuff.

Time slowed down and it felt good to connect with him…to be alive with him…to laugh with him…to love him with my presence…my UNRUSHED presence.

Time is a weird thing in that it flies by so fast, yet seems to drag on at the same time. Know what I mean?!

It’s so tempting to wish away the now and keep our eyes planted on the future….especially when it comes to our children.

Before long, years have passed and we’re longing for the “old days” when things were much “simpler.” It’s all relative I suppose.

Let’s not let distraction and busyness cloud the beauty of right now.

It would be so cool if you joined me in becoming a sponge….by “sponge” I mean absorbing every emotion, feeling, memory, hug and conversation involving where our kids are RIGHT NOW in life.

After all, they need us and we need them. Let’s slow down and love ’em a lot.

God Bless,

Paul

 

 

 

 

The Day I Flipped Kids Off in the School Bus

I was driving home from work today and found myself stopped at a traffic light.  Next to me was a car with 2 little girls in the back seat….maybe 4-6 years old.  I could see them looking over at me, trying to get my attention….you know, kid stuff.  I ignored them for a second and then suddenly looked over with the cheesiest smile that I could muster and waved wildly.  They started giggling, probably soaking in the success of getting an adult to react.  Glad I could contribute!

Rewind about 15 years or so and the story was completely different.

I was about 20, driving around, running an errand or something.  A bus full of school kids was in front of me and we stopped at an intersection.  The kids in the back were staring, being goofy…..you know, kid stuff.  I ignored them for a second and then suddenly looked up and…….flipped them the bird!  That’s right, I did it.  They looked shocked and patted each other on the back while other kids came to peek at the crazy guy in the car behind them.

Why did I react in such an immature way?  I’m not sure.  Maybe I was having a bad day, maybe I was insecure, maybe I was just being an idiot….yeah, probably the last one.  Either way, it wasn’t the proudest moment of my life.  15 years later, it did teach me a lesson though.

As I waved at the girls today, something dawned on me…..I am a completely different person now, than I was then.  I’m not just talking about maturity, I’m talking about motivations, perspective and heart change.

I would never even consider flipping off a bunch of kids…..kind of funny to write that sentence.  Really though, I just wanted to make those girls laugh…you know, have a story to tell their mom or whoever, that’s all.  I don’t know them, but I love them because their kids, God’s kids.

I think that’s my simple take away.  God has changed my heart.  He’s molding, bending and refining my heart to kind of look like His.  Because of that, I look at people differently, love differently, serve differently and just be me differently, it’s pretty wild.

Any who, He can do that to your heart too.  I’m sure there’s silly, dumb stuff that you’ve done….maybe you’re still doing it.  Hope and change are available to each of us, free of charge, debt paid on a wooden cross by a Guy named Jesus.

Think about it, soak it in, that heart change could be right around the corner!

God Bless,

Paul

 

 

Playing Ninjas on the Playground

I’m really proud of my son, Ben.  He just started 1st grade and we all can’t be more excited for him.

Unfortunately, Ben had his first real experience with a bully.  This kid wouldn’t leave him alone…he called him names, made personal attacks, nagged him to death, etc.  I have to admit, I’ve envisioned myself hanging this little twerp by his underwear on the flag pole outside the school.  I know, I know, I need to calm down.  As a victim of bullying myself, it’s tough not to get heated.

Although I would never want my son to get pushed around, it’s been a great learning experience for all of us.  My lovely wife gave him some sound advice and I paraphrase: “sometimes, mean kids just need somebody to be nice to them.  Jesus was nice to mean people all the time.  Sometimes, that bully could even end up being your friend!”  Brilliant.  This great advice made for some deep dinner conversation.

A couple of days later, Ben blew my socks off.  He proudly called me at work to explain a conversation between himself and the twerp…..I mean kid  :).  They spoke in the bathroom at school.  Ben approached the kid and said something like “I’m sick of us fighting all the time.  Can we just be friends?”  The kid responded with a quick “yep.”  It was a simple exchange with profound results.

At recess, they played ninjas on the playground.  In Boy Land, that means that all is right in the world.  That some healing and acceptance has taken place.

Due to Ben’s love and grace, the kid has left him alone.  Apparently, he’s still causing trouble in other ways, but the direct harassment once focused on Ben is no longer there.  Most of the time,  love can be the best deterrent against negativity.  It’s pretty cool how God designed things.

My son inspires me.  I see Jesus in his eyes, in his demeanor, in his hands and in his feet.  I’m proud to be his dad.

God Bless,

Paul