As I sat on my couch, I prayed for God’s direction and that He would simply guide me in the way that He wants me to go. This is a pretty common prayer for me, but this time my stomach started to twinge a little….I got nervous.
That nervousness led to uneasiness, then to worry, then to fear, then to doubt, then to distrust. But why was I so anxious?
I’ll tell you why. To state it bluntly, I struggle with trusting God sometimes. I pray for direction, but then I’m afraid of the actual direction that He might take me! You ever do that? Questions roll around in my mind like: “What if He moves my family? What if we don’t have enough money? What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t hear God correctly? What if? What if? What if?
From a natural standpoint, my concerns over trusting a God that we can’t see would seem legit and understandable. I get it. But, I have a relationship with a good, big, powerful, loving, generous, righteous God who’s completely overtaken my life. He’s my heartbeat. He’s never let me down and He’s always provided. Sure, many times His answers are different from mine, but He always comes through, always.
I’m learning that fear often doesn’t make much sense. In this case, I’m anticipating God to move me in a direction that isn’t cool. Maybe to a place where I’m uncomfortable and stretched (sometimes this can be a good thing)…..or to a place where my family suffers and struggles….seriously?! It’s almost as though I forget that He created me and knows me better than I know myself. I forget that I was created for a reason. I throw every Bible verse aside that encourages me to trust and not worry about the future…..it’s messed up. So I confess it, ask for help and move on. Tomorrow is a new day to trust.
Friends, if you struggle with trusting God sometimes, no matter what it is, know that you’re not alone. Join me today and everyday in throwing our arms wide open, in faith, knowing that our God and Father is calling the shots. Confess it, turn the other direction and keep moving.
I’m confident that even a broken guy like me can learn to trust better. You can too. One step at a time.