I Have a Confession and an Invitation

imageMy whole life, I’ve struggled so much with a certain weakness.  It’s something that not all folks struggle with, but we’re all affected by at some point in our lives.  It’s called fear.  It can take many forms and can stop us from being who we are designed to be.  It can be crippling.

My particular fear has been regarding other people, what they think of me.  It stems from when I was bullied as a kid.  I took every insult to heart.  It stained my insides pretty bad.  As an adult, I have learned to work against this fear, with God’s help of course, but it’s still there…every single day.

For the last year or so, I have let this fear affect my spiritual life, my “witness” so to speak.  I’ve avoided conversations with others about Jesus, I’ve slowed down on writing, I’ve been afraid of being too bold about my faith for fear of rejection.  It’s sad, but it’s the truth.

It’s not that I stopped believing or anything, it’s that I lost focus on WHY I believed in Jesus.  I don’t think this is an abnormal thing, but it’s a place that I never want to get too comfortable in.  In all reality, it’s been pretty selfish on my part.

The good news is that I’m coming out of this fog.  I’ve just kept praying, reading, surrendering and remaining open to God’s leading.  I guess perseverance would be the word to describe it…….such imperfect perseverance.  God is faithful though.  I believe that He sometimes allows these times of disconnect, because He wants us to seek Him.  He wants us to reach out to Him.  He wants to remind us of what life feels like apart from Him.  Sometimes folks push away during these times and I can understand that.  I’ve had my own moments of pushing away.  I encourage you to dig in though.  Be stubborn and refuse to let those dark clouds hold residence over your life.

To those of you who are scared or nervous to share their faith, I urge you to be bold, be courageous, be confident and most of all, be full of love.  We’re not expected to have all the answers to life’s mysteries.  Our role is to have open arms and loving hearts to ALL people, despite their differences, creeds, interests, beliefs, etc.

Today, more than ever, we need lights to shine and salt to flavor.  That light and salt is you, it’s me, it’s all of us who believe in Christ.

Please join me in seeking more.  In giving more.  In serving more.  In sharing more.  In loving more.  Jesus will take care of the rest, I promise.

God Bless,

Paul

 

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8 thoughts on “I Have a Confession and an Invitation

  1. Thanks for being so open and honest about your struggles, hun. We all deal with struggles from time to time- As an imperfect human, it would be impossible not to. The irony here is that when I’m having similar struggles, you’ve always been the one to help pull me out of them… By bringing me back to Jesus. So despite your internal fears, know that you still inspire and direct others. Namely, your loving wife 😉 I love you dear.

    Like

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