At a Loss For Words….and Prayers

PrayerI was sitting at the counter this morning, cup of coffee in hand, asking God for direction.  Sometimes I pray with vigor and conviction, while other times….well most of the time, I pray with garbled thoughts, yawning while wiping the sleep from my eyes.

Anymore, when I’m praying for myself, I really don’t know what to ask for.  The only words that best summarize my heart are “please meet me where I am, at this specific moment,”  so this is what I pray lately.  Afterall, God knows me better than I know myself.  He cuts through me like a hot knife through butter….I’m thankful for that.

I’ve found freedom in this prayer because it forces me to be humble with my Creator. I’m admitting that I don’t understand it all, not even my own thoughts and intentions.

As I ask Him to meet me in whatever place I find myself in, my hope is to change, to grow, to run away from the comfortable life of stagnation.

If I were to be honest with myself, it’s a little unnerving (ok, a lot unnerving) to know what God has planned for my future.  God’s pretty big and I have no freaking idea what He has up His sleeve, or robe or whatever.

The reality of my life is simple: although I can plan, plan some more, and then plan some more, God’s pulling the strings, not me.

“Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year.  We will do business there and make a profit.”  How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow?  Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.  What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.”  Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil.”  -James 4 13-16 NLT

Sure, I have my own visions for the future.  Sure, God’s given me certain skills, abilities and gifts to help guide me in the way that He desires.  My part is to somehow navigate through life, being aware of the person that I am, but not allowing myself to be the focus, only God.  Dang, that’s tough to do.

So that’s why I pray for God to do His thing, where He’s placed me.

As the dust settles for the day and I anticipate tomorrow, the only thing that remains certain is God’s grip on my life, on all our lives.  I suppose that’s where we should be resting our hope and trust.

It’s not really our path to make, but His steps to follow.

God Bless,

Paul