We have a great friend at church who was kind enough to let us borrow a video series on marriage. They’re kinda like counseling videos. We’re not in dire need of them or anything, he just thought we could benefit from the cool lessons taught. We were very grateful for that.
A few weeks ago, we decided to watch the 1st video of the series after the boys went down for bed. We found our way to the couch, sat down, and prepared ourselves to learn.
The first 30 minutes were great. It was funny, relatable and sincere…….then I hit a wall. I started the infamous head nodding. you know, it’s like when you’re fighting sleep with all your might, but you just can’t keep your head up. You don’t think anybody notices, but I’m sure that it’s pretty obvious.
The unfortunate part about the situation was that my wife was sitting right behind me…..she was watching my every nod……I’m sure she was both amused and annoyed with my head-nod side-show.
After a few minutes of entertainment, my wife decided to get up and call it a night. I don’t blame her.
I kind of panicked. I was caught red-handed….I just didn’t want to admit it…..I had fallen asleep during a video that was meant to better our marriage……what a dork. If this happened to one of my buddies, I would totally make fun of him for this.
So, I decided to try to convince my wife that what she saw was a magical illusion. I wasn’t really nodding my head, I was just trying to get comfortable. She didn’t buy it, nor should she have. So, I then decided to jump on her case for getting frustrated in the first place. It was her fault, not mine…..bad, hurtful move.
So, in a few minutes, I went from relaxing with the wife, to practically falling asleep, to lying about it, to placing blame and being prideful. Looks pretty ugly. It was ugly actually.
There’s a positive spin to this whole story though. I learned a lot about myself that night. I learned that, if I would have just taken responsibility for my actions, all would have been so much better. I learned that pride sneaks up so quickly and can damage even the strongest of relationships. I learned that, it’s ok to mess up, but it’s not ok to blame someone else for my mess ups….that’s just being immature.
Stories like this are humbling to share, but I feel they can have some value. Often times, when we have failed the hardest, we gain the most wisdom and understanding. It’s weird how it works, but it’s true. I’m grateful to serve a God that uses the rough times to mold me and shape me into the man He wants me to be. I’m also thankful to have a wife that is patient with my molding and shaping.
What challenges and/or failures have taught you the most?